“why not give your child the chance at the most normal life that you could give them?” -was a lovely comment I got to wake up to this morning. I wonder to myself pretty often, “maybe that’s enough sharing for now?” And then, sure enough, I get a comment like this.
I get lots of people asking me how I deal with them, how they don’t make me upset, etc. And they really don’t make me like people think – I’m not sad. I know she is happy, healthy, and so incredibly fortunate for this life she is living. I wish I could give more kids the kind of life I KNOW she has. My heart aches for individuals like my daughter that don’t have the love and support that she does.
What these comments do make me, is ANGRY. Angry that people genuinely think that there’s no way she has a chance at a “normal” life. That others like her “aren’t normal”. And yes, they aren’t the most common. They’re humans with these unique little rarities, but they’re still normal people.
This world is so quick to pretend to celebrate differences, but then yell, “NOT LIKE THAT” when they don’t understand.
People like you are the reason I have so many messages from parent of, or individuals with birthmarks, THANKING me for sharing. I don’t need thanks, I would have shared her no matter what. But because of people like you, these other people are made to feel unnatural or are shamed when they do share their beautiful selves or families. And to those making those/these comments – SHAME ON YOU, you are contributing to this problem that you are acting concerned about. If you cared about helping those individuals, you would keep your “advice” to yourself, and rather, spend that time saying something to lift them up. “I’ve seen people struggle” – THEN HELP OTHERS AS THEY ARE. Don’t encourage them to change. How ignorant and shallow you are.
So I will stay angry and sharing until you people learn to BE BETTER or BE QUIET.
And so many want to tell me about how cruel children are. Children aren’t, or at least aren’t born cruel. They’re curious, and ask questions, but they only pick and jeer at differences if that’s what they’ve been taught. So to all the people suggesting she will be “tormented”, how about you do your part and make sure your kids, grandkids, or kids in your community aren’t those bullies? If everyone who saw this talked to a handful of children for me, how much better would her generation be? I’m already excited by how many people our page has reached, and she’s just 1 now. People love to cite middle schoolers especially.
Well I have 9 years until then, 4 before she starts school period. I’m taking it as a personal challenge to see how much I can accomplish until then.
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Also, to this birthmark community I am proud to be a tiny part of as a momma: I extend all of my love and support to all of you. Whether or not you’re comfortable with sharing. If you’ve chosen differently than us now and are in the process of/or have had removals. I just pray you are all happy and healthy, and if you ever need an ear, I am here.
NICOLE LUCAS HALL 